:::Just Listen::: (and watch)

Mama.

Photo: Jennifer Samuel

beauty, elegance, womanness, charm, sexiness, class, regality, power….are all redefined with moments like these.

Who was Benny A. Lyde?

Benny A. Lyde was a 21 year old college senior at Long Island University, living in Brooklyn, NY. He lived on Lincoln Place in Crown Heights. Not too far from my home. In 2005 he suffered a murderous death by gunfire – all because of some beef that had nothing to do with him. His death went mostly unnoticed in the public eye – as if no unordinary tragedy had transpired. As if we hadn’t just lost a bright, young model American citizen. He was on the honor roll. He had a job and helped his mother pay bills – at the age of 21. He helped run a literacy program in East New York, Brooklyn and mentored younger children in his community. Children looked up to him. And he was looking forward to a shining future as he was finishing up his degrees in Business Management and Computer Science. The world was his. His mother has said he would reevaluate his life’s goals every five years. In 2005 (what would become his last year here), he aspired to be the first Black president of the United States.

A couple of weeks ago, I was taking a Saturday stroll from my house to the Brooklyn Museum. I walked into a crowd of people on that beautiful, warm, sunny Saturday. The air was perfectly crisp and the sun was gentle, not too demanding. The event in Crown Heights that afternoon was a street naming ceremony at Lincoln Place and New York Ave for “Benny A. Lyde Street”

I think I now know the taste of bittersweetness. His murderer has been captured. His mother was able to speak of him without a gush of tears. And in spite of the clear blue late summer’s sky, there was no justice.

Kids, sing along!

It’s a beautiful day to be Allison!
It’s a wonderful day to be Allison!
I just LOVE being Allison!
And I hope you love being YOU!

Questions for My Mom’s Surgeon

The surgery has been bumped up from June 9th to this Saturday, May 30th. I’m getting my questions ready…

1. it is a discectomy, right?
2. does she have cauda equina syndrome?
3. will you be making the entry from the back or the front of her neck? (traditionally, the surgery is done from the back)
4. how do you expect her to recover? since she has had significant weakness, do you suspect she has a higher risk of recurrent disc herniation?
(on average there is about a 10 – 15% chance of recurrent disc herniation)
5. will this be an endoscopic microdiscectomy (use of special instruments and a camera to remove the herniated disc through very small incisions) or a traditional open discectomy? Why?

Funny…over the weekend, after escaping the emergency room in search of the upstairs room that would house my mom since she had been confirmed “admitted”, I was asked by one of the nurses on the 4th floor…”are you a nurse?”
“No,” I responded.
“You just walked up here to look for her bed?”
“Yes. We’ve been waiting in the emergency room for more than 6 hours.”

—

Seven hours in the emergency room hallway and finally…her room is ready. Sheesh. I’m learning how to move things along at the hospital…as a renegade. My Mama created a monster!

A Great Day to be Born

I got a call at 6:30 this morning from a then pregnant Luchana. They were on their way to the hospital. I sent out prayers, affirmations and positive thoughts and solicited more of the same via txt messages, facebook and twitter. And, at 9:17am on Tuesday, May 19th 2009, Renee Doris Marie Caviness was born.

On this day 84 years ago, baby Malcolm Little was born and would grow to be El Hajj Malik Shabazz, better known as Malcolm X. He would stand for the freedom of many, to be remembered, studied, loved and revered.

Below is a video sent on twitter by @zaheerali of a secret audio recording of Brother Malcolm meeting with a couple of members of the FBI. They really tried to insult his intelligence. You have to listen to it. The nerve! Proof that the brother was committed. Unwavering. Steady. Reliable. Worthy.

Happy Malcolm X Day. And welcome to the world, Baby Renee!

Mother’s Day and Robots

So it’s Mother’s Day. The day when mothers should not feel invisible. This is the day we thank our mothers for carrying us, delivering us, raising us, loving us – in a way unique to mothers worldwide. Today I say Happy Mother’s Day to my mother and my grandmother and all the mother’s I’ve come to know in my life. You all have shown me something sublime, the love a mother bestows upon her child. Mazel Tov! I love you!

Although, I like to celebrate mothers on a regular basis.

On another note…and on many minds lately, there are many of us women out there who are not mothers. Either we don’t plan to ever be mothers, or we’re putting off the glow of motherhood until we feel more comfortable/stable/ready, or, for many of us women, we’re simply not able to have children. I came across a very interesting doc on current this morning, highlighting the issue of the severe population decrease happening (expecting to snowball to 2/3 of the population disappearing in the next 100 years) in Japan. The Japanese seem to be very concerned about the lack of babies being pushed in designer strollers. True to current tv form, the 25 minute doc was super informative, reaching across the spectrum of this issues from population stats, to professional women who party hard and shop, to Xenophobia, to the over-use of sex toys, to robots. The latter being the climax of the story. For me, however, the fact that Japan is embracing robots is not the most alarming news. I’ve seen the Animatrix. What shocked me the most was the stat that the average married couple in Japan has sex 48 times a year. Forty-Eight times. A year! Madness.

Less and less human contact. Less and less babies. Stagnant acceptance of foreigners. Japan will soon find itself running out of people. In come the robots.

The woman in the middle. A robot. Yeah.

And I’ve gotta say, its a little disturbing. I know we’ve all seen it coming (I, Robot), but they’re here! …or there, in Japan. Robots. Teaching elementary school, at the receptionist desk. Mysteriously soft, life-like robots with facial expressions. They even fidgit.

So…if we stop being mothers, scientists will just manufacture more people? IS that what you’re telling me, Current documentary? I can already see that this new wave will fall subject to classism.

I’m ranting. I’m just a little disturbed by the way a portion of our society seems to be heading. The Japanese are at the height of technology and sophistication. They lead the path to the future for many other nations. It seems that soon, baby making the old fashioned way is about to be a stone-age concept. Those with more than three children are already looked upon with a certain sympathetic disapproval. Add some brownness and less than six figures, and you’re damn near an economic strain and a tragedy.

So come all ye techies. Go forth and get your own geminii who can make love to your spouse when you’re just too damn tired!

Click the image to watch the video.